I have an alarming number of conversations that could go that way if I didn’t bite my tongue. No matter how new or established the company, everyone thinks they’re alone in their offering.

The only way to get someone, usually a salesperson and especially a start-up CEO, to name competitors is to ask the question, “Who do your potential clients think are your competitors? Who else do they talk to when they talk to you?”

I blame the book Blue Ocean Strategy by W. Chan Kim and  Renee Mauborgne. It’s a good book, but like most rational ideas, in its pure form, it sounds valid and realizable. Its reality, though, can be a harrowing tale of naïveté or worse. Like Communism.

The thing about a Blue Ocean Strategy that’s good is that you do need to find your company’s unique offering and make sure everyone knows it. For me, for instance, I’m the only marketing advisor who is 6’ 1”, has hazel eyes, big glasses and who has worked with major brands and heads of state around the world to help them hone their marketing who is sitting in the lobby of the ACE Hotel drinking way too much coffee. For you, your unique value is probably something different (unless you also have a French press full of more coffee than you typically drink in a week).

Finding your unique value is what your marketing needs to be about, but it should never lead you to say you don’t have any competitors. You do. And because they know what makes them distinct and can articulate it, they’re racing past you full steam ahead while you try to get your bearings.

Be distinct as a brand but be honest about your competitive field. If you’re not, your audience won’t notice when you capsize and you’ll discover just how wide and lonely your ocean is.

I told them what I always tell clients, “be honest, avoid hyperbole and let’s make it sound like something you, personally, would actually say to a customer.” They protested that my approach would never work, that there’s so much noise out there, the only way to be heard was to be the noisiest kid on the block. The conversation isn’t a new one, but it’s still disheartening, both as a marketer and a consumer.

Their approach reminds me of last night’s weather report. “A snow storm is going to hit New Jersey! Get ready for a terrible commute or just work from home.’ The projection was for an inch of snow. I can understand an inch of snow being a shocking snowstorm if you live in, say, Tahiti. I don’t. I live in New Jersey, a state where between November and March it’s very likely to snow. An inch is never a storm here. It’s called weather and we have some.

It’s no news that television, particularly broadcast news, treats its audience like idiots, but you see in the overall decline in ratings what that approach is doing for them. If your company wants to build a relationships with your customers want, addressing them with hyperbole or an approach that appeals to the lowest common denominator won’t work. Respect your clients with your messaging. Treat them like the valuable (and valued) part of your business that they are and they’ll respect you back. And buy from you again.